And birthdays (like Christmas and other anniversaries maybe) are a time for reflection - for me anyway.
Before Covid (& Long Covid) my birthdays would be spent off doing something exciting, usually involving mountains, camping and spectacular locations.
My last 3 birthdays had been with Long Covid.
The first year - July 2020 - I was around the 4 month mark. I didn't feel great, but I still naively thought that I was almost better and that by pushing through I was doing the right thing. (Spoiler alert - it wasn't, but at this point I felt a lot more positive than I should have, but there is the benefit of hindsight eh...)
The second year - July 2021 - was the worst birthday I had ever had. I ended up in a horrible crash and spent most of the day lying on the sofa, mostly in tears.
The third year - July 2022 - was better than the previous year (although the bar wasn't high!!) I had found some things that had helped and had seen real improvement.
This year - July 2023 - I had been recovered for the best part of 2 months. We went for a long walk & swim the day before, then had a relaxing morning, had a cycle & swim and then had 2 amazing friends over in the evening.
At no point did I had to think about energy levels!
Long Covid recovery seemed impossible, even earlier this year, and yet here it is.
I'm beyond grateful to have my health back - because earlier this year (& certainly at the end of last year) I'd have been certain that this was going to be Long-Covid-birthday-number-4
So I'm not sure what exactly I'm saying here - but reflections are definitely helping me learn, but also be happy and grateful and full of joy
And another year older ..but shhhh....